Heavy posts that challenge you to move...

I clicked on a blog post the other day, never realizing what an impact it would have on me.  As I read through the blog and hung on every word, I realized a few things about myself.  Things I am sure the author was not even considering when she wrote this post...but that affected me in my inner most depths.


I have been asked by friends, acquaintances, and even at times - my own children.


How can God allow such suffering in the world?  How can he look at the innocent children, and not do something?  How can he sit back in his heavenly realms and watch catastrophe strike the earth and thousands upon thousands affected by senseless acts of violence, natures fury, and heartless individuals?  Some even go so far as to say...If there really is a God, a God who can allow such suffering to go on - so many innocent children suffer at the hands of tyrants...I don't want to know him.


Until this blog post - these questions could only be answered one way by me...I would say...


We do not know the whole picture, only God does.  There is suffering in the world because there is sin, there are horrible people who choose to do unspeakable things because they have the ability to do that through free will.  God gave us the beauty that is free will, and some choose to use it for evil.  And, this earth is not our home, but merely a stopping place....


All well and good....then I read this blog post.  And, I realized something new.


The blog I am talking about is A Holy Experience by Ann Voskamp.  And, the post was 'The 1 Thing You Really Have to Know About Your Family'.  This post shook my very core.


I was reading along fine...then came to this paragraph...


I’m angry that I’ve seen and I’m ashamed that I am angry and I’m angry that I’ve seen and now I am responsible. More than respons-able – we’re response-bound.Once we have seen the poor, we are responsible — we will make a response. As long as your heart is beating, there’s no such thing as unresponsive. We all look into the face of the poor and it’s either Yes, I will help. Or no, I won’t.


What honest words.... admitting you are angry because you saw something, now knowing you have to act on that.  You simply can't say.... "I had no idea it was that bad", or "I didn't know what was going on oer there", you now know.


That started my decent into the rabbit hole that day.  I realized that my answer to the questions about God and why he allows suffering, and how he can just sit by an watch it...was...well...an easy answer.  I was saying...I don't know...No one knows God....We just sit here in our comfortable houses, drinking our fancy coffees, watching our latest guilty pleasure on high definition TV's, pinning pretty little things on Pinterest, planning our next vacation or girls night out...leaving that question up in the air like a balloon slowly losing its helium.   The elephant in the room, we dare not speak of...the cop out that will allow us to sleep at night.


I realized the answer to that question is not "I don't know".


When someone asks "How could a loving God create a world full of poverty and sadness and suffering and not do anything about it?" 


The answer is...He did…He created you and me ….and I don’t know why we are not doing anything about it…

Patience is more than endurance...

I can't believe it has been three months since I posted anything.  So much has gone on...thus the reason for lack of posts.  I was having a hard time juggling everything that was coming my way.  Let's see if I can sum it all up a bit...

• My son is going into the Air Force, a lot of prep for that, a lot going on.
• A very dramatic roller coaster of events and emotions regarding a person in our life, a relationship turned toxic...I never thought I would go through such a turmoil, personal, emotional...took it's toll.
• My daughter is heading into High-School....let me rephrase...My 'baby' Girl is heading into High School...happy/nervous all in one.
• My husband and I are making some much needed, very overdue changes in our lives for the better...however change is never easy and you realize that there are a lot of ancillary things that come along with change...never the less...it will all be good in the long run.

So, here I am.  In so many areas of my life I am not only outside of my comfort zone....in some areas I can't even see my comfort zone from where I am.  This is very scary, however God is brining me though this in ways I never knew he would.  In some ways they are small ones, little things - words of comfort, gestures of kindness that help you through the really tough moments. 

Some ways are a complete surprise to me.  Things like how pain can bring two people together, how sometimes the one thing that brings solace is not a resolution to a problem...but just knowing you are not alone.

I am working, every day, on learning how to lean more on God.  I am trying to find ways to fortify God in our family.  Ways to bring His truth into our lives.  Ways to help bridge the knowledge gap between the God of the Old Testament and the fulfillment of his promises with Jesus in the New Testament.

Things tumbling around in my mind are ways to educate the family on traditions of the Old Testament, to show how they point to the New - but it's all new to me so there is a huge learning curve here.

In any case.  This blog only continues to speak more and more about my life...about living outside of my comfort zone...about stretching yourself...learning more...reaching out...and even though I feel like a human piece of salt water taffy on the pull sometimes...I know it is for the good of me, my family, and  those in my life both now and in the future.

“Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says--'I cannot stand anymore.' God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. 'Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.” ― Oswald Chambers