Trusting God...

Opening up has always been difficult for me.  Maybe that is why I have tried to use this blog as some kind of way to ease myself into it.  After all, this is a great way to be open while still holding on to some sort of anonymity.

I have noticed my inability to relax towards some areas of my life - while in others - well lets just say the lack of attention is disturbing.  I don't think I am that 'unusual', but as I discover this about myself it is unpleasant - to say the least.  Not that I haven't suspected this to be true - but until you actually admit it to yourself...well you get where I am going with this.

There is so much change going on in my life - that at times - I feel utterly overwhelmed with the simplest of things.  The crazy part is - I driven to try to control the areas of my life that are the most complicated - not releasing them to God - and at the same time ignoring an area that is so simple...I can do something about it.

The solution is really so simple, yet so difficult for me to actually do.  That is, letting go of the difficult, and focusing my attention on the simple.

To me this is like not trying to extinguish the roaring fire in front of me, and instead watering the flowers.  On one had it makes absolutely no sense!  The house is burning to the ground, and I am watering the daisies...

That is what I feel like.  However, what I am have to come to grips with is this....

I will be more successful watering the flowers (which need to be watered) than trying to extinguish the tempest of fire in front of me....with a simple garden hose.

If I continue to try to extinguish the flames with a tiny hose...I will lose both the house and the flowers.  However, by calling on the name of God, and leaving the fire-fighting to him, He will save the house - and allow me to tend to the flowers.

Sometimes, the hardest thing to do...is to just get out of the way.

 I have more than one raging fire in my life right now.  So, feeling overwhelmed is the understatement of the year really.

However, with each new day...

With each new prayer...

With each new verse I read in the Bible...

God is showing me how to let go.  How to get out of the way.  How to trust.  How to love.  And, most importantly how to know my place in the world He created. How to allow Him to work in His time.

How to love without preconditions.

How to live with purpose.

How to have faith in the darkest of times.

How to trust...God...with everything.