ThanksGiving day two...

As I enter into day two of Thanksgiving week, I found myself in a bit of a funk.  I woke up this morning, realizing that once again I 'jumped the gun' instead of trusting God.  You know, you when you tell God that you will trust him to work things out, then as things get closer and closer you start to feel like you're playing a game of 'chicken' with whatever life situation you are facing.  You hear, 'trust me', yet you are still eyes glued on the problem waiting for something to happen....then....it happens...you flinch first and "do" something.  You yanked that problem, situation, whatever it was right back out of God's hands...back into yours.

So, yea - - that was me this morning.  Realizing that I flinched, I grabbed it back.....and worst part of it....I didn't need to.  God was there, he was doing something - - but I flinched.  It's not the end of the world.  But, it was a blatant, in my face, realization that I didn't fully trust...He was there....I just could not fully let go.

With a heavy heart then I enter my second day of Thanksgiving week....and I have to say.

Thank you God for showing me that I flinched.  Not because I want to see a failure, but you showed me that YOU were there.  You had it worked out.  I didn't need to flinch, because you were there.  It is with bitter-sweet emotions that I enter this day.  Remorseful that I have to say that I didn't fully trust you....but at the same time rejoicing that you showed that you had it all handled...even if I stepped in and messed it up at the end.

I am therefore Thankful for a God who loves me so much as to show me my impatience, my lack of faith....so that He may provide more faith, patience to the impatient, and reveal Himself to those who love Him....in spite of our lack of faith.

ThanksGiving Week - Day 1...

As we embark on Thanksgiving week, my mind is drawn to so many thing that I am so very thankful for.

So, let Thanksgiving week commence...

Today, I want to say how thankful I am for my job.  May I never take for granted the amazing opportunity I have received to work full time for my Church.  May I never let the petty things get to me, and always keep my eyes on the Creator of my life, this world, everything!  May I always see people as Jesus sees them, may I always recognize the opportunity in every day, ever encounter, every person, every circumstance.  May I always find God's grace, love, and peace in my every day...in every way.

Thank you God, for the amazing gift you have given me.  Thank you for being my Father and sending your Son Jesus to be my savior.  Thank you!!

Define my Moon...

I just finished a devotional that took me on a 21 day fast.  I chose to fast from something that I had let become too important to me during this time.  This was a personal journey, and in the end, strengthened me and through the 21 days of denial - God met me where I was.

So, how do I move forward after this initial 21 day challenge for myself? Well, I start another.  It took me a little time to find one that spoke to me, but eventually I found it....or maybe I was finally directed towards it.  In any case, here I go.   This 21 day challenge will overlap Advent this year, but that's ok.

One thing that is sticking with me through this 21 day devotional, is something I read on the first day.

"The first moon landing in 1969 was a momentous event in history.  On that day, mankind achieved something that many previously thought impossible.  The amazing thing is that because the wind does not blow on the moon, the footprints of over 40 years ago are still there and will be there for a very long time."

It goes on to talk about how on this 21 day journey of "Living a Divinely Inspired Life", we are in essence, "Leaving our footprints on the moon" as it relates to the fulfillment of our God given purpose for our lives.  The achievement of this goal...what to me seems impossible and unattainable...will only happen with divine intervention.

How true is that?  How often we give up, accept less than, or settle for mundane because 'we' can not figure out how to get from 'here' to 'there'.  It is impossible, we tell ourselves.  It can not be accomplished.

We tell ourselves that it is not our destiny or must not be God's purpose for our lives because 'we' can not get it done.

When what we should be saying is - God, I can't get from 'here' to 'there' - that is blatantly obvious.  However, if it is your will - it will happen.

Therefore, until I hear you say no, or you close this door, I will continue on my journey towards this goal....no matter how far out of my comfort zone I go.

In Genesis 12:1-3, God asked Abram (later known as Abraham) to get out of his comfort zone.  Abram had to leave his father's house and step out with faith, out of his comfort zone, out of any comfort zone to the unknown.  One man, obedient to God obeyed and was given a promise for an entire nation.  This was Abraham's Moon, his footsteps of obedience to leave a mark for generation after generation to come.

For the next few weeks, I will be asking God to 'Define my Moon'.  I will ask Him to reveal to me where my footsteps need to make their mark for His purpose (not mine).  I will wait, and listen for Him to show me His will for my life.

I have taken small steps toward this unknown destination as he reveals them to me, and they have never let me astray.  God will never lead you astray.

Have you asked God to define your Moon?  

 

Fighting the negativity...

When you are faced with negativity, how do you react?  I think at first, we all try to turn it around...  We try to find the positive...  We try to establish are more positive footing...

But, when you are continually faced with it, you tend to want to avoid that person, that situation, that area...

So, when you have tried the former, and are then finding yourself resorting to the later....what do you do?

I don't want to relinquish any part of my life to those who desire to remain negative.

What do you do when the one person who is the most negative force you have encountered, makes a comment like....Oh, I can't stand to be around negative people....WHAT?

Here in lies, yet another, comfort zone opportunity.  What do I do?  How do I react?  I can not (of course) walk over and slap that person - hoping they come to their senses and realize that 'they' are in fact he negative force that infiltrates the rest of our lives.

What do you do?

Well, I have come to realize that you have to...just keep swimming.  Continually put forth the positive force.  Continually establish complaint free zones.  Encourage people to voice their frustration over areas that they think are 'broken' only if they can follow it up with a positive suggestion on how to fix the situation - that they so passionately thing is not working.

Think positive...it's not just words...it's a way of life.  We can choose to focus and dwell on the negative - or we can choose to take the negative, and focus on change, improvement, and forward motion.

I choose positive!

Sandy toes...

What a week!  Between my husband traveling to Cleveland for business, my son spending a week in Kauai, and my daughter and I on a turn-around trip with her Youth Group to California....Im tired!

I was going to try to write a blog about it - but instead Im going to just free-form my thoughts and highlights.

The smell of the subtle salt water when you open up your car door and step out onto the beach...oh how I have missed that lovely smell!

The feel of the soft sand under your feet.

The rush of water as you stand on the beach and let the waves wash over your bare feet, with each withdrawal of the wave you toes sink deeper into the wet sand.

The sound of the waves and their consistent, gentil, yet strong return to the beach.

The birds as they fly around, like a dance in the sky.

The feel on your face as the wind catches the sea mist.

The emotion when I get a video text of my son jumping in the surf and running on the beautiful beach of Kauai!

The sheer beauty of the sunset agains the water.

The joy of being reunited with everyone at the end of the adventure.

The feeling of ultimate blessing from God for being given such a gift, such an amazing gift as this family!

Kauai

Standing in the waves in Santa Monica, CA

My monday definitely sent me for a loop today.  Quite out of nowhere, I was faced with a landslide of negativity.  It was a surprise mainly because of who it was coming from.

I understand that people have bad days...however when we spew negativity around a room like a mad-man yielding a machine gun...there are many casualties.

I had to be honest with myself.  I had to really do some thinking that night about why I didn't say more to try to curtail this negative onslaught of bullets as they flew threw the air.  Why did I just sit there with my mouth gaping open?  Why didn't I stand up? Speak out?

Then I had to be honest with myself and acknowledge the fact that I was a coward that day.  However uncomfortable it was for me to witness this barrage, it woud have been MORE uncomfortable to speak out.  And, because of that not only did I suffer, but I allowed the negative words to rule my day, color my mood, and define my moment.

Even after apologies were delivered from the negative swordsman later that day, it was still a loss.  Not because someone chose to act out in such a manner - but because I retreated back to my comfort zone...intending to protect myself...but ultimately just avoiding what I should have done.

So, I chalk this day up to a manic monday that could have, and should have been avoided.  I vow that next time I meet such an adversary, I meet it head on, with grace and love.

For negative begets negative, and positive (however unwanted at the time by someone who just wants to vent) will in the long run be welcomed and appreciated.

time with change and acceptance

Time flys by so fast...my baby turned 13 last month and my little boy will turn 18 next month.  I know everyone talks about how quickly time flys....and it just never seems to stop amazing me how much that is true.

We look at our lives, and we think....5 years - such a long time....but when we look back on the past 5 years - - it seems like yesterday.

Change...a word that may as well be the seal on pandora's box.  You never know exactly the what it will entail, and more often than  not....the ripple effect change has may go out months, years, decades.  Sometimes these ripples are amazing, sometimes not.

Whenever I am faced with change, I always go back to a quote that is never far from my mind.

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” ~ Anatole France

How true that is.....even what we long for the most can have its melancholy.  And, I would not want it any other way - it means we gave something of ourselves, that we invested our heart as well as our time into something...someone.

So, now, when I am faced with a change, a coming of age, a milestone, a loss.....I look at it through different eyes....I allow the sadness, the grief, as well as welcome the joy and the excitement.  For to shun one emotion is to miss out on the greater picture.

I have quit looking at the portrait of life two inches away, and began to continually take a step back - as I can - to take in the larger picture.... and one day.....I will see the entire masterpiece and will be left in awe!