As I enter into day two of Thanksgiving week, I found myself in a bit of a funk. I woke up this morning, realizing that once again I 'jumped the gun' instead of trusting God. You know, you when you tell God that you will trust him to work things out, then as things get closer and closer you start to feel like you're playing a game of 'chicken' with whatever life situation you are facing. You hear, 'trust me', yet you are still eyes glued on the problem waiting for something to happen....then....it happens...you flinch first and "do" something. You yanked that problem, situation, whatever it was right back out of God's hands...back into yours.
So, yea - - that was me this morning. Realizing that I flinched, I grabbed it back.....and worst part of it....I didn't need to. God was there, he was doing something - - but I flinched. It's not the end of the world. But, it was a blatant, in my face, realization that I didn't fully trust...He was there....I just could not fully let go.
With a heavy heart then I enter my second day of Thanksgiving week....and I have to say.
Thank you God for showing me that I flinched. Not because I want to see a failure, but you showed me that YOU were there. You had it worked out. I didn't need to flinch, because you were there. It is with bitter-sweet emotions that I enter this day. Remorseful that I have to say that I didn't fully trust you....but at the same time rejoicing that you showed that you had it all handled...even if I stepped in and messed it up at the end.
I am therefore Thankful for a God who loves me so much as to show me my impatience, my lack of faith....so that He may provide more faith, patience to the impatient, and reveal Himself to those who love Him....in spite of our lack of faith.
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