All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Anatole France
Oh, how true that is.
Yesterday I felt that 'melancholy' feeling, and it stuck with me for awhile. Now, this use to be the type of thing that would send me off on a rant, upset and feeling jilted.
Now, though - I still feel the melancholy, or as I called it yesterday the 'bummed' feeling of the change, but it does not conquer me, and I choose not to let it stir up thoughts of how God must not understand what I need, what I want....
I allow myself to 'feel' the close of one chapter even when there is a pause before the next chapter can begin without letting 'fear' seep through and grow.
I am not sure what will be around the next corner, and so sometimes it can become too easy to wallow in the sadness of the loss of one thing a little too long because we do not know what to look forward to....yet.
This past year has been full of a lot of changes for me personally, my family and my church. Some of it very painful, some of it really nice, some of it....well it was just simply change.
So, as I close out June along with some chapters in my life, I look towards July as a month of...
reflection
searching
and most of all prayer, for what the next chapter will hold.
The next chapter may be a long one, or a short one - that I do not know - and I don't think God always allows us to know.
Whatever it is, instead of wringing my hands worrying about 'what's-next'.... I will simply look to God for direction.
Oh, I have ideas of what I 'want' my next chapter to be like, but I have learned over this past year that really it's up to God.
Not my will God, but your will be done. And, when you are in God's will - it's crazy but you end up at peace.
I understand about change. My daughter graduated this year. I remember counting down the years until that day, we had 5 years to go. Then we can buy a place in Florida, be snowbirds and live the life we wanted. I would run my business from FL and NY. It didn't work that way.
ReplyDeleteThrough circumstances I won't get into here, I'm now married to a wonderful man and I gave up my own business. It's not what I expected at this time, but it is wonderful just the same.
It's a big change and adjustment and shock. But I'm happy.
You're in a good place--realizing that change ends up in good things makes it all easier to deal with. Kudos.
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