I choose...

It's amazing how things happen sometimes.  You think you are prepared, you think you are going along just fine...or do we?

Last night as I was sitting on the couch, watching TV out of one eye and perusing the iPad with the other - - a thought came to me...just out of the blue...nothing to do with what I was watching or what I was looking at on the iPad...

What about me?

You see, I have made great strides in my spiritual walk of late.  I have spent more time in scripture and prayer, I have spent time meditating on verses and really working on my overall outlook on life.

So, why this thought?

Why now?  What does it mean?

I stopped for a bit and thought about it.  I looked at my life, and my schedule.  I had tapered off a bit.  I had once again let the mornings turn into a couple extra snooze button hits and a little less of a purposeful focus on my morning time with God.

Earlier in the day I had posted a picture to Facebook...sometime I saw a friend post and I liked it so much....so I reposted.

My mind drifted back to this post, hours later as I sit on the couch...

What would I have woken up with this morning if this happend?  What did I go to sleep last night thinking about?  What did I spend my day thinking about?  Thanking God for?

I felt a bit convicted.  Because, once again I felt the ever so slight slip into apathy happening.  It's always small at first, very very slight.

In fact, if you were to verbalize it to anyone they would say you were being silly and oversensitive.

However, that's how it starts.  What AM I thankful for?

I stopped and asked God to forgive me.  I thanked him for the reminder, the nudge if you will, before I wandered too far.  Before I found myself completely moving away from morning time with God, in his word.  Before I let my evenings run full on into my night - finding myself crashing form awake into exhaustion and bed without a quiet transition to thank God, to talk to him before I close my eyes for the night.

These thoughts went through my mind.  As I lay in bed I start to think about junk, stress, problems and I ask God to renew my mind - to speak peace into my heart.

The next thing I know, my husband is waking me up.  It's 3am.  He was heading into work and his car battery was dead.  He asked me what he should do....jump it....take the other car....what did I have planned...did I need a specific car?  All this was a quiet half sleeping conversation we had in a whisper.  We decided that he should just take my car and I would figure out the battery in the morning.  He left, I went back to sleep.

When I woke up, I realized.  I was not upset, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed...I was ok.  I arranged for school transportation, a jump and headed to get a new battery, then off to work.  It all worked out beautifully...really.  Why?

I think God was tapping my shoulder last night because he knew what my morning would entail.  He knew I had gotten busy and distracted lately, and knew my nerves were getting frayed, and I was getting tired.  He knew....I didn't what the morning was going to be like.

He whispered in my heart, prepared me for the morning.  He did what I needed before I knew I needed it.

He prepared me to wake up to focus on the things I have, the blessings I have been given, not the problems, temporary inconveniences and/or setbacks.

Thank you God for caring enough about me to give me this gift of your love. 

For this day...I choose...happiness.  Today I acknowledge how grateful I am, how thankful I am, how blessed I am.