Well, that was me this weekend. I tripped, then instead of catching myself - I got distracted and then my one trip turned into another, and another until I was free falling.
Somewhere between the last trip and the time you hit the ground...the free fall...is where you realize everything that had lead up to this point. Every word, decision, action or inaction....and then it's too late. You are full on..free falling with no ability to stop. Your preverbal arms & legs flailing without purpose.
That's not a fun place to be...and the landing (when you do finally land) well usually its just as bad...sometimes worse. Sometimes the landing will leave you with bruises that will take a while to heal...and even worse...sometimes you involve someone else in your landing and hurt them as well.
So, there I am...stuck in a free fall. Mind racing, feeling like I have a blender lose in my gut, blood pressure raising...all together a bad feeling all around.
Then, what happens? Well, God happens. That is, when you let him.
In the past, I would have continued on the free fall until I finally reached the bottom....blaming, pointing fingers - to others - to God - to whoever I could...
This weekend...something different.
I heard God. I know, I know... someone will have the thought pop in their head about what does God sound like, and how can you know it's God and not just yourself?
Well, all I can say about that is this...
God does not have a voice, but he has a voice.
God does not sound like me, or like anyone else.
God does speak to me, and many others though...
How do I know it's God. Well, I didn't for a long time - and after awhile of ignoring this "voice" I rarely heard it any more. Some people will say - Oh, that's just your conscience speaking...not God. But, there is something in me that tells me otherwise.
For instance. This weekend. Full-on Free Fall. Flailing to blame, grab hold of any reason, etc....and with some ability to actually point to some people who were acting rude, insensitive, and wrong...I heard God....
He said to stop. It's not them, its you. It's your heart. As long as you try to blame and point... you will continue to fall until you crash. So, just stop. Hold out your hands, and let Me catch you. They are not your job, it's none of your business - what is your business is that you stop...let go...and reach out to Me.
Just stop.
As I am arguing with my daughter...just stop.
As I am boiling inside due to unmet expectations...just stop.
As I am feeling overwhelmed...just stop.
As I am letting anger, hurt, and bitterness seep in...just stop.
Just stop.
God can stop a free fall...a full-on free fall. Without having to wait till you land. He can stop it, and place you on the ground.
But, you have to let him. You have to let him catch you by letting go of having to be right, having to make that person realize they are insensitive and rude, having to prove anything.
You have to let it go...let God...and Just Stop.
"The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become - because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own." ~ CS Lewis.
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